Sunday School Ed. 1 - "Left Over Beats"

Be sure to pick up a copy soon.
Here's a sample of our first issue:

On a Sunday
By Trent Gurney

The pastor
he spits out his gum.
He bangs the pulpit and
reads a passage from the gospel of Big Poppa E.
His devout followers, we each take a turn.
Poppa tells us how he crosses the street, afraid of snipers.
He’s always worried that the person behind him at the movie theater will
blow his brains out.
He does this to himself.
Paranoid.
Masochist.
Freak.

Later, from the first epistle of Palahniuk,
we read of his travels to the podunk
Testy Festy in Missoula, Montana.
Souvenir shops with homemade dildos.
Can’t find a human penis? Use a cow’s.
The men, they slap women in the face with their hard-ons.
The women, they bite the hanging testicles off of moving motorcycles.
Biggest bite wins.
They do this to themselves.
Perverts.
Masochists.
Hicks.

Our congregation of five,
we gather here
to feed our unnatural desire for something.
Searching for a god we only find in words.
To worship him.
The god of pen.
The god of paper.
The goddess of ink
and life-long poverty.
Big Poppa, he has this parable about writers lining up outside the welfare center
needing rent, food stamps, coffee, life.
We do this to ourselves.
Believers.
Masochists.
Writers.


Sex
By Neil Womack

The watch I’m wearing screams, Sex!
Yeah in big, red-light district letters
it screams, SEX! It says my penis
is two inches bigger than it really
is so let’s fuck. It says I can’t be a writer
cause you don’t buy 200 dollar watches
on a writer’s salary. It says on my salary
I buy fast cars and fuck on big beds
in huge houses. I mean, I feel you
eyeing this thing, you’re thinking, sex,
and lucky for you that’s what I’m always
thinking about so I’m taking you home.
Well, if you haven’t figured it out by now
I’m a misogynist asshole,
and since you’re the type of gravedigger
woman who’ll leave my apartment
as soon as you realize I’m renting it
and as soon as you see the kind of car
I really drive and as soon as you see how my penis
is two inches smaller than you thought,
I’ll be happy to notice how fast you leave
after we have sex and how I won’t have
to say a damn thing
to your disappointed and lonely face.